


Use Me, Abuse Me

by princesskay



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: First Time Bottoming, M/M, Porn with some plot, Rough Sex, Switching Places, Twincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-02-02
Packaged: 2018-01-10 21:57:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1165013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princesskay/pseuds/princesskay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was almost routine for them now; when Tom's latest date caved, Bill was the one he turned to to get his rocks off. Bill tried to fight him off because he knew he was being used, but eventually, he gave in, too in need of release to turn down the first and only lover he had ever taken. After they had undeniably hot, satisfying sex, Tom got angry with him, over what Bill couldn't be sure.  He didn't want to be used and then thrown away like garbage while Tom easily moved on to his next victim of choice. It was humiliating and degrading, and so infuriating that he could not resist, not even once.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Falling Again

The first time it happened, there was no great argument or uproar. The calendar was not marked, physically or in his mind, and he made no great spectacle of the event, as he was often known to do. In fact, the incident was not clear in his memory, as it had happened so quickly, so heatedly, and without any deep thought on the matter. He had made a spontaneous decision, one that would affect the rest of his life, he was certain.  
Sitting in the small, hot room, crowded in between Georg and his older brother, Bill knew it was happening again. He stared at his heavily buckled boots and picked carelessly at his usually immaculate acrylic nails, so consumed by his thoughts he could hardly answer the questions. They were the same stupid, inane things the interviewers always asked, and this interviewer in particular was so bland and monotone that Bill could've fallen asleep sitting up.  
The next question was up; something involving girls and the guys' view on them. Tom, of course, was the first to answer, boasting shamelessly of his conquests 'round the world. Bill repressed the urge to roll his eyes, so over his brother that he could've taken the New Era cap right off his dreads and puked in it.  
The way things stood, Bill really couldn't say how he felt about Tom. He didn't think clearly around his twin, didn't examine each detail of the situation and make the right decision as he normally did. Tom's sweet talk, erotic touch, and hypnotizing expertise had the ability to make Bill swoon like a fangirl. He hated it; he wanted to be strong and say no, but each time the suggestion was made, clearly or through implication and double meanings, Bill caved. He simply couldn't say no to his twin.  
“What about you, Bill?” The interviewer asked, curiously, “Any love interests?”  
Bill shrugged, “I believe when I find the right girl, I'll know. Until then. . .”  
He let the sentence fade, leaving the interviewer to wonder. Let her wonder; she would never know the truth. If Bill had it his way, no one would.  
Getting the hint, the interviewer moved on to the next question, one more professional, involving the band. Bill, typically the one that did the most talking, sat quietly with his head down, deferring almost every question to Tom or one of the G's. He was in no mood to talk.  
By the time the interview was over, Bill suffered a headache and an obvious pout. He sulked all the way out to the car and got inside without a word. Tom climbed in next to him, casting curious glancing in his direction as the black SUV pulled away from the curb.  
“So, what's up?” He finally asked.  
Bill shrugged.  
Tom sighed, “I know it's not nothing. Come on, talk to me.”  
“It's you.” Bill mumbled, balancing his chin on his knuckles and staring out the window.  
“What?”  
“I said, it's you.” Bill repeated, louder.  
“Me? Why?”  
“You know.” Bill insisted, turning a withering glare on his brother's feigned innocent expression.  
Tom sank back in his seat and lifted his chin, “You'll thank me later. . . .Later tonight.”  
“You're such an ass!” Bill snapped, reaching over to smack the back of his hand across Tom's arm.  
Tom absorbed the blow with an absolutely incorrigible grin, “And your ass is mine.”  
“It's no one's but my own.” Bill huffed, his face now blazing hot with color. He crossed his arms tightly across his chest to suppress the way his nipples tingled and tightened when Tom started dirty talking.  
Tom slid closer, putting his arm casually over Bill's shoulders. He turned his face to whisper discreetly in Bill's ear, “Then I guess I can just watch you finger yourself tonight.”  
“Get off!” Bill burst out, slamming an angry elbow into Tom's ribs, “Get off, you bastard!”  
Bill's arguing seemed to only gratify Tom more. He grinned broadly while he moved back to his side of the bench seat. No more was spoken on the topic, but the residue of Bill's anger and Tom's arrogance hung in the air the rest of the ride home.  
Bill did his best to avoid Tom for the rest of the day, but by the time the sun set, he had nowhere else in the hotel to go. At 10:30, he found himself crowded up against the wall, Tom's body tight against his, the thick scent of cologne and warm breath assaulting his senses. Tom had gotten Bill right where he wanted, in the bedroom and already half way to consenting.  
Tom ground against him, his crotch already like a rock against Bill's quickly growing erection. His hands slipped beneath Bill's shirt, touching him with long, soft strokes while his tongue plied it's way past Bill's protesting lips. He molded his mouth over Bill's, kissing so hard and deep that Bill could hardly breath. For a moment, he lost the urge to fight, his body screaming at him to just give in. He went slack against the wall, his mouth neither fighting nor encouraging the attention Tom was lavishing upon it.  
“Mmm, you taste so good.” Tom moaned, his lips separating from Bill's to nibble at his jawline and earlobe, “Want you sooo bad.”  
“Fuck. . .” Bill muttered, breathless.  
He was at the precipice for what seemed like the hundredth time, losing his balance, getting ready to fall into Tom's waiting arms. He wanted so bad, but what he desired slipped through his grasp every time he thought he had a strong, solid grip. It was so close to him, a mere arm's length away for most of his waking hours, but his brother was like sand in the wind. A free spirit, a lover, a fighter, he never stayed in one relationship too long, even it it were with his little brother. He was too restricted by the barriers of a serious relationship; his independence and unsatisfiable desire would never allow it. This was why Bill fought so hard each time Tom came back to him after long absences in which he absconded with this fangirl or that one. It was so unfair.  
“What was that?” Tom murmured, his tongue hot and wet against Bill's ear, “You want me to fuck you?”  
“Ooohh. . .” The involuntary groan left Bill's lips as Tom's tongue induced shivers down Bill's spine.  
“Oh yeah. . .” Tom cradled Bill's ass and rocked his hips harder, “Tell me.”  
“I. . .I. .don't. . .” Bill tried to argue, but his hands were already grasping at Tom's body with need.  
Tom's one hand slid back beneath Bill's shirt to toy with his nipple, extending the sensitive flesh with long, hard pulls. Bill gasped and lost his breath, sagging against Tom for support. His whole body was beginning to thrum with need, making each touch feel like the shock of electricity.  
“Come on. . .” Tom moaned, impatiently, unaccustomed to Bill holding out for so long.  
Bill struggled to remember why he was still fighting after he had given in so many times. It was the principle, the fact that Tom was never faithful, that he strayed each time he got his fill of Bill. Why couldn't Bill find that statement logical anymore?  
Tom was beginning to sweat beneath his two layers of clothing. Bill could feel the moisture on his neck and forehead as their lips clashed sloppily and Tom's mouth grazed his throat. He was extremely worked up; how could Bill say no to his brother when he was obviously in great need of help? They always helped each other.  
“Please. . .” Tom began to beg now, some of his confidence stripped away by intense desire. His hips ground against Bill's, crushing their erections together almost painfully. His fingers groped along Bill's bare, sweat-lined back and ass, trying with all his might to seduce Bill back into bed with him.  
Bill's ears pricked at the sound of Tom's pleading. It was a new addition to the seduction, an unfamiliar but effective tactic. Bill's insides turned to jelly.  
He began to nod even before he realized he was giving in again, “Okay. . .okay, just once.”  
Tom kissed him hard on the lips, his brown eyes twinkling like nighttime stars, “You won't regret this.”  
Bill couldn't test the veracity of that statement in his weakened condition. He couldn't even call to memory all the other times Tom had uttered those same words, and Bill had believed them, only to wake up the next morning with shame and horror knotting in his stomach.  
Tom dragged him to the bed, already discarding clothes in a rainstorm of material. Bill went along with it, leaning against the bed to support his weak legs as Tom tore his jeans and boxers from his body. His cock jumped free, throbbing hard and red with need he hadn't even realized was so out of control.  
Tom went about undressing himself, discarding the baggy material to reveal a long, lean body that only a lucky few got to admire up front. Bill had seen Tom naked hundreds of times, but his aroused state right before they did it always made his heart race and his lungs lose air.  
Tom stepped forward, pushing his cock right in Bill's face, nudging the hot, velvety flesh along Bill's lips and cheek. Bill sputtered, turning his face away to avoid the disrespectful fondling, only to encounter Tom's hands, forcing him to face forward and take it.  
Bill groaned quietly, closing his eyes while the head slipped past his lips. It wasn't so much the act that made him shudder, but the realization that he wanted it, that he liked it. No matter how many times he told himself that it was disgusting, or dirty, or just plain wrong, he always found his mouth opening up with little resistance the next time Tom decided to shove it down his throat.  
“Fuck. . .” Tom began to curse, as he did nearly all the way through sex.  
Bill closed his lips around the hard, pulsing flesh, taking intense enjoyment in the way Tom's legs began to shake and his groans turned to rather pathetic sounding whimpers.  
“Oh, baby. . .” Tom's hips surged forward, “Oh yeah. ..suck me. ..”  
Bill adjusted his lips around Tom's cock and suckled harder, pulling the hard flesh deep into his mouth and dragging his tongue along the underside and over the head. The few times he had performed this act on Tom had taught him a lot, as Tom was a very impatient but knowledgeable teacher. Bill knew just what to do to make Tom cum hard and fast.  
“Yes, yes. . .” Tom began to chant softly.  
Bill drew back to suck at the head, and then let go. Tom panted loudly, his hips arching forward for more. His head was back, his face struck with an expression of ecstasy, not unlike the face he put on when he was seriously playing guitar. Bill dragged his tongue along the tip, pushing the ball of his tongue ring into the wet crevice, keeping his eyes on Tom the whole time to see his reaction. Tom's face screwed up in his pleasure and his fingers clamped down harder on Bill's hair, pulling him forward.  
“Ooh, ooh. . .” He uttered the moans in short, uncharacteristically high-pitched sounds, no longer putting on the facade of the confident, seductive suitor.  
Bill smiled a bit and repeated the action several times, drawing the undignified sounds from Tom while he knew he could. When Tom mounted him, Bill knew he would be the one squealing and moaning.  
“Oh, God. . .Stop that!” Tom demanded, at last.  
Bill drew back, putting on his best innocent, coy face.  
“Get on the bed. On your stomach.” Tom ordered, red-faced and breathing hard.  
Bill went without argument, already too far into the encounter to second-guess himself now. There was a twisted sort of giddy excitement churning in his stomach, adrenalin racing the way it did when he knew he was going to get in trouble for doing something very fun as a kid. Except this time, he only had himself to get in trouble with. He knew, by morning, he would want to spank himself senseless for doing it again, but at the moment, all he could focus on was the impending climax.  
Tom excavated the lube from one of his bags and sauntered back to the bed, cock swinging like an incoming hammer. He popped the lid open and crawled between Bill's legs, pushing them open wide.  
“Show me your ass.” He uttered in a demanding growl.  
His fingers grabbed harshly at Bill's right butt cheek even as Bill complied, arching his hips up and digging his knees into the bed to spread himself out for Tom.  
“Good.” Tom murmured.  
The next moment, Bill felt the wet, cold trickle of lube down the cleft of his ass, meeting with Tom's fingers when it dripped down to his hole. Bill gasped aloud, his body clenching hard when he felt Tom's fingers rubbing softly at his entrance.  
“Relax.” Tom whispered, his voice much softer this time.  
Bill drew in a deep breath and let it out, forcing his muscles to go lax. Tom's fingers felt good rubbing away at his resistance, slowly pushing their way inside. A quiet squeak emitted from Bill's throat with the first penetration. His body twitched uncontrollably, all the muscles low in his stomach clamping down in pleasure. His fingers twisted in the sheets, gathering them close and holding on tight while he moaned into the mattress. Tom's finger pushed in steadily, submerging the digit to the knuckle and squirming around inside.  
Bill jerked against the bed, his knees giving out. He fell to his stomach against the mattress, trying to pull his knees together. The feeling was indescribable, and too much. He couldn't take it!  
Tom's finger ripped out of him and the same hand delivered a hard spanking that made Bill's body reawaken in a new way. He cried out, strangled and high-pitched, so turned on that he was suddenly frozen against the bed.  
Tom grabbed him by one leg and shoved it up against his side, laying his entrance vulnerable. Bill tried to squirm away, but Tom grabbed him by the hair and shoved his finger back up Bill's ass. Bill's whole body arched, a scream building, but not releasing itself. His face twisted in pleasure, but he couldn't speak, couldn't even moan. Tom's finger penetrated him repeatedly before pairing with another and delving back in. Bill could feel himself opening up despite the rough manner with which Tom was taking the decision away from him. He wanted it, and yet he didn't. He loved and hated this feeling, this complete lack of control and choice, the dangerous pleasure and dark allure. He wanted to resist, but he could not. He simply could not!  
“Come on, Bibi.” Tom's voice was guttural and needy in Bill's ear, his breath blasting across Bill's skin with each breath, “Open for me.”  
“I. . I am. . .” Bill groaned.  
Or rather, he was trying. Fast was never fast enough for Tom. He wanted immediate pleasure. He wanted to go in instantly even though he knew a thorough prep was necessary; therefore, the burden fell on Bill to make his body relax and cooperate with Tom breathing down his neck.  
“Wider.” Tom demanded.  
His fingers hit deep, finding Bill's prostate, out of accident rather than intention, Bill was sure from the way Tom had barreled into the situation with such vigor and desire.  
“Ahhh!” Bill cried out, writhing against the sheets.  
Tom added a third finger, forcing back Bill's resistance with a few deep thrusts.  
“Are you ready?” He pestered, after only a few more moments.  
Bill nodded eagerly, clawing at the sheets and moaning to demonstrate his need.  
Tom quickly removed his fingers and sat up to lube his cock. His fist worked swiftly over his hard dick until it was gleaming with moisture and moved between Bill's compliant legs. Grasping Bill's hips with steady fingers, he slowly pushed forward.  
Bill arched, a gasp tearing from his throat with the first entrance of Tom's cock. A pang went through him, but was not voiced. Tom didn't tolerate whining or crying, or asking for more time. He expected Bill to be ready just as he claimed he was, even if Bill had only said it to appease his demanding older brother.  
Three thrusts in, Bill began to writhe, a cry rising in his throat. The hiatus between their trysts together had gone on longer than usual, resulting in Bill's body growing unaccustomed to Tom's cock being in him. Tom's cock felt huge inside him, painful and arousing at the same time, almost too much to handle.  
Tom supported himself with one arm and gripped Bill's hip harder with the other. His hips rocked steadily against Bill's ass, pumping his cock in and out without a care as to what Bill was feeling.  
“Please. . .” Bill whimpered, his nails tearing at the sheets, “Tom, please!”  
“What?” Tom demanded, hostile at the fact that Bill had already interrupted the fuck.  
“More. . .more lube, please. . .” Bill whispered, his cheeks coloring even though Tom was not looking directly at his face.  
“Jesus!” Tom muttered in frustration.  
Even so, he pulled back and applied a generous amount of lube before thrusting back in. Bill let out a sigh as the second penetration went much better than the first. With the lube causing Tom's cock to glide in and out of him, Bill let himself relax and open up to the invasion. . . enjoy it the way he always did.  
With Bill's diminishing resistance, Tom began to thrust harder. His hips seated themselves firmly against Bill's ass with each thrust, causing their skin to smack loudly. Bill moaned, arching and quivering as Tom consistently struck at his prostrate, seducing his cock to spasm in pleasure.  
“Yes. . .” Bill hissed, quietly, too struck by pleasure not to.  
“You like that?” Tom panted, squeezing Bill's hip to pull him back into each thrust, “You like my cock in you?”  
“Yes. . .” Bill groaned, pushing his butt up against Tom's pounding cock.  
“I'm gonna fuck your brains out.” Tom growled, bending to deliver an assault of bites along Bill's earlobe and neck.  
“Ooh, please. . .” Bill moaned, thrashing beneath Tom.  
“Yeah, move those pretty hips.” Tom encouraged, jerking Bill against him hard.  
Bill moaned and dug his knees into the mattress, levering himself into Tom's hard, fast thrusts. He could feel his hole starting to close back around Tom as the pleasure drew closer. His cock was twitching uncontrollably, so hard it ached intensely. He felt as if he were going to burst he was so full and hard.  
“Tomi, please. . .” Bill begged, “Touch me. . .”  
“Come here.” Tom ordered, already pulling Bill with him.  
He turned onto his back, with the pillow propped behind him, and dragged Bill onto his lap, still firmly seated on his cock.  
“Grind your ass on me.” He ordered gruffly in Bill's ear.  
Bill drew his legs up and pressed his heels into the mattress to push himself down on Tom's cock. It felt so good and deep from this angle. Tom's cock never fully left his body, but remained deep inside, grinding up against Bill's prostate. Meanwhile, Tom's fingers reached down Bill's heaving chest and quivering stomach to palm his cock. Tom's hand was bigger and rougher than Bill's own, but it managed expertise and a divine touch that Bill had never known before. When Tom did this to him, it was as if the rest of the world vanished, and they were swimming out in space, in their own little bubble of pleasure. The center of his universe was that pulse building, rising to an explosion, in his cock, and Tom's hand, dragging his ever-so willing body to the climax.  
“Oh, yeah, baby. . .You're so good.” Tom praised in Bill's ear.  
Bill moaned softly and screwed himself down on Tom's cock, searching for the spark that would also ignite Tom's pleasure. Tom's hips jumped up against Bill, followed by a low groan. He was close to the pleasure too, almost too close to still remain in control.  
“Come on, come.” Tom ground out, his voice strained with desperation.  
His hips pulsed harder and harder against Bill's, grinding and pressing his cock in all the right ways until Bill felt every muscle in his body flex. The rising tide of pleasure low in his stomach suddenly expanded, shattering the restraints that tied Bill to the world and rocketing him into a dazzling, consuming universe of pleasure. His body spasmed and jerked wildly on top of Tom, wedging Tom's cock in deeper, harder. Cum shot from his cock, pouring down Tom's pumping fist and spattering his stomach and chest. He felt a drop reach his cheek and dribble down his neck, following the pounding vein the pulsed just beneath the surface.  
He was still breathing hard, caught up in the aftershocks of pleasure when Tom came, his body following the same jerky motions, his lips forming the same cries of pleasure. He twisted and bucked under Bill's weight, his cum-slick hand grasping at Bill's waist, the other clutching Bill by the chest. Hot, wet liquid seared Bill deep inside, pulling a scratchy groan from his throat, hoarse from his orgasmic crying. The rush of sticky heat never ceased to shock him and turn his inside to quivering hungrily all over again.  
At last, Tom lay still beneath him. He was breathing hard, urging Bill to get off his chest.  
Bill weakly rolled to the mattress next to Tom and lay on his stomach, his cheek pressed into the pillow. His cock went limp underneath him, completely drained of the intense need Tom had so recently filled him with.  
Tom groaned and slammed a fist into the sheets, “Why, dammit?”  
“What?” Bill asked, startled.  
“Why do you have to be the best fuck in the universe?” Tom raged, sitting up fast, his dreads swinging about his face as he turned to cast Bill a burning glare.  
“I. . I don't. ..” Bill sputtered, unable to answer the question he hadn't even known existed.  
“Just shut up.” Tom swung his feet over the edge of the bed and rose with a groan.  
Bill closed his mouth and rested his head forlornly against the pillow. It was almost routine for them now; when Tom's latest date caved, Bill was the one he turned to to get his rocks off. Bill tried to fight him off because he knew he was being used, but eventually, he gave in, too in need of release to turn down the first and only lover he had ever taken. After they had undeniably hot, satisfying sex, Tom got angry with him, over what Bill couldn't be sure. He didn't know why Tom had to yell at him, degrade him, or slap him every time they did it; Tom initiated the whole thing! Herein lay the reason for Bill's earlier resolve to deny Tom this time. He didn't want to be used and then thrown away like garbage while Tom easily moved on to his next victim of choice. It was humiliating and degrading, and so infuriating that he could not resist, not even once.  
Tom found a box of kleenex and wiped himself down, remaining stoically reticent until he turned to face Bill again. With a flick of his hand toward the bathroom, he muttered, “Go clean yourself off. You've got cum on your face.”  
Bill climbed slowly off the bed and retreated to the bathroom. He found his own reflection gazing dejectedly back at him, marked with cum just as Tom had said. Staring at that image, he felt revolt and self-hatred well up inside him. He was a whore; a dirty, low down whore that couldn't resist his own brother because he couldn't have anyone else. No one else would take him. . .Not Bill, poor, strange, misunderstood Bill. . .  
Bill slammed the door shut when he felt the tears welling in his eyes. He sank to the floor without wiping the cum off and pulled his knees to his chest. Covering his face with his hands, he began to sob in earnest. He didn't want to be used and abused anymore; he wanted to be loved, cared for, adored. He knew Tom could do all those things for him, because he did them in normal, every day life, but when it came to the bedroom, he turned into this person that Bill didn't know. . .or like. He wanted his brother back!  
At last, Bill wiped his face and stood up. His wretched expression gazed back at him once more, but this time, he didn't let himself crumple into a pool of tears. He let himself accept that he didn't hate Tom. He didn't despise his brother for being mean, rude, or abusive; he hated himself for not taking a stand earlier. This was going to stop, he decided. It was going to stop right now.


	2. An Ultimatum

1 week later

The club was hot, style and temperature. Hip, modern music blasted from the speakers and white and blue strobe lights sent flashing patterns across the sea of bodies dancing at the center. Up above, female dancers, barely dressed in bras and panties, swung lithely from the tall, gleaming poles mounted to their pedestals. Drinks were being served one after the other from the bar, mixed and poured right before the patrons' eyes.   
Tom squinted through the dim lighting to see the EXIT sign as he clutched the girl's hand. She was a pretty, dark haired girl with a long, slim figure. Moderate breasts were tucked in a low-cut shirt and her ass was perfectly clutched in the hold of a skin-tight mini skirt. A pair of heels made her even taller than she already was, almost eye-level with Tom.   
He had his sights set on the prize. He wanted to have a lot of good sex tonight, more than one fuck to be sure. Most of the girls only stayed around for round two, but he had interrogated this one enough to realize she was committed. He would be keeping her all night.   
There was a cool blast of air as they emerged from the club. They had gotten through one of the back exits, into a dark, but clean alley. Tom didn't party on the wrong side of town; he always chose nice, clean establishments with little risk of confrontation and violence. So when the girl pulled him to a stop and started tugging at the fly of his pants, he didn't argue with a little public display of affection.   
She was smooth; her fingers quickly found their way into his pants and finessed his cock from the confines of his boxers. Tom moaned and shuddered in pleasure as her long, warm fingers dragged up and down his shaft, finding the already wet tip of his cock. He sucked in a breath, reminding himself not to come too soon. This wasn't Bill, where it didn't matter how fast he came. He was with a girl; girls remembered encounters in which guys lasted ten seconds. And he knew he could last a lot longer than ten seconds.   
Tom was surprised when she went down. The alley floor must have been hard and uncomfortable, but she got on her knees in front of him and started sucking like there was no tomorrow. Tom had to clap a hand over his mouth to keep from screaming out and alerting the security he had tried so hard to lose. His body was accelerating at an alarming rate, climbing for the pleasure too fast. He tried biting on his lip, focusing hard, blocking himself with images of shame and disbelief at coming so fast. But when the girl's lips closed around his dick, all he could think about was how Bill had sucked him only a week ago. He had not gone to that alternative in a long time; in fact, he had been trying to stop himself from going to Bill for gratification when he couldn't find a girl that suited him. He knew it was wrong, and he knew he shouldn't use his own sweet, helpless brother like that. . .but there was something so strong, potent, and alluring about sex with Bill that he couldn't stop. He just wanted, and longed, and needed with a hunger that couldn't be satisfied.   
Tom groped at the girl's hair, trying to get her to slow down. Instead, she misconstrued his gesture for one of intense pleasure and sucked harder, faster. Tom almost lost his cool; his hips jumped forward, unable to deny the pleasure laid so clearly in front of him. He could feel the cum racing up his cock, and tried to quell the raging need inside him. Opening his eyes, he looked down at the girl to try to catch her attention.   
Only then did he notice the resemblance – the long, voluminous hair, the big, dark eyes, high cheekbones, and full lips. Her long, thin figure and the fine-boned hands, nails painted black, weren't much different than Bill's. In fact, if Tom hadn't known he wasn't dreaming, he could've sworn he was gazing down at his own little brother.   
With a loud cry, Tom came, his hips jolting into the girl's mouth with too much force. She drew back, coughing slightly as he writhed and jerked against the cold, stone wall. Her fingers came back to tease him all the way through climax, only making the moans well up in his mouth louder.   
He sank to the ground, breathing hard. His heart was beating like mad, but not from the climax. He was freaking out about the girl he had picked, one that had an eery resemblance to Bill. Had his subconscious done that, or had he known all along, but continued in a state of denial?   
“Oh, baby. That was so hot.” The girl whispered, dragging her nails along his jaw.   
Tom rose from the ground unsteadily, pulling his pants back together. He was shaking as he reached into his pocket for his wallet. She watched, confused as he pulled several euros of high value from his wallet.   
“What are you doing?”   
“I'm sorry.” He shook his head, shoving the money into her hand, “I'm very sorry for your trouble.”   
“I'm not a hooker!” She exclaimed, suddenly looking very mad.   
“I'm not saying you are.” He replied, desperate to be rid of her, “It's for your trouble, your cab fare home. I'm sorry.”   
“What the hell is wrong with you?” She cried, “I just sucked your dick and you're sending me home with some money?”   
“I'm sorry. I can't be with you.”   
“Why the fuck not? I'm sure that was the best blowjob you've gotten in months, asshole!”   
Tom ducked his head, ashamed with his own behavior. As much as he had wanted to have sex, he couldn't have it with this girl. . .Not when she was a near doppelganger for his brother.   
“Here, take your fucking money!” She threw the euros in his face, sending the money twirling through the air and fluttering to the ground, “I hope you get what you deserve, you fucking bastard.”   
She stomped past him, her high heels ringing against the asphalt in the narrow confines of the alley.   
Tom let out a sigh and leaned against the wall, trying to regain control of himself. He could hardly remember the intensity of the climax through the tide of shame and anger rising up inside him. It was ridiculous, how addicted he had become to sex with Bill. At first, it had been simple curiosity. He had thought about it often when he was young, first discovering sex and all the possibilities. He had always liked girls, but Bill knew him and loved him in a way no one else ever would. He didn't want to be gay or bisexual. . .He just wanted to be Bill-sexual. There was nothing else like it, not even pussy. Now he was entrenched in a relationship he couldn't even understand. Why did he want Bill the way he did? Why did nothing else satisfy him the way Bill could? Why did he hate Bill for it?   
Tom shook his head to clear the thoughts and moped out of the alley, groping in his pocket for his cellphone. He called for a ride and decided to get back to the hotel for a shower and rest – two things he hoped would make this mess seem better by morning. 

~

The lights were out, all was quiet. Tom lay beneath the sheets, trying to fall asleep, but reliving every moment in the alley in crystal clear, HD quality every ten seconds. His bruised ego refused to let him forget how fast he had come, or how rude he had been to the girl. And it was all Bill's fault – at least, that's what he liked to tell himself. It was much easier than the truth; the truth was that it was all Tom's fault for dragging Bill into bed with him in the first place.  
He had gone through a serious couple of weeks with a semi-steady girlfriend when things had suddenly fallen through. She had left, not texted him, not told him what happened. Just gone. It didn't often happen to Tom Kaulitz; usually, he was the one to leave. It had taken more of a toll than he expected. Lonely, dejected, and in need, he had turned to Bill, a constant source of comfort and love. Bill never rejected him, even after a fight or when Tom was being unmanageable. All the desires he had been bottling up inside suddenly came bursting out, and in a moment of weakness, he had done the unthinkable. He had taken his little brother, deflowered him, used him, and then thrown him away like trash in the morning, too ashamed of himself to explain his feelings to Bill. And so, it had gone on through seemingly endless months. When Tom was feeling alone or inadequate, he went to Bill, in need and painfully hungry. By the time guilt hit the next morning, he had already removed himself from the situation enough to not feel the sting. It was despicable, and he hated himself for it.   
Tom rolled over suddenly in his bed when he heard a soft knock at the door.   
“What?”   
The door opened just enough for Bill's trim figure to slip inside. He shuffled across the room, his thin arms wrapped around his middle. He was only wearing his boxers and his disheveled mop of hair.   
“I couldn't sleep.” He murmured.   
Tom suppressed a groan, knowing exactly what was coming next, “So?”   
“Can I get in?”   
Tom sighed and dropped his head to the pillow. Was Bill trying to kill him? Tempt him? Piss him off?   
“Please?” Bill's voice turned to a whine as he stepped closer, grasping at the sheets.   
“Fine. Get in.” Tom replied, pulling the coverlet back.   
Bill eagerly clambered into the bed and curled up next to Tom. Much to Tom's surprise, he latched onto Tom's side and snuggled up, making little, happy noises. Tom had expected teary-eyed, hurt, angry Bill after last week's miserable encounter, not loving, cuddling Bill.   
Tom dropped a hand to Bill's hair, stroking absently, “So, what's on your mind?”   
Bill shrugged, hugging Tom closer, “Things.”   
Tom sighed, “Me too.”   
“You got back early.” Bill observed, quietly.   
“Things. . .got complicated.”   
“Complicated? Are you okay?” Bill lifted concerned eyes.   
Tom shook his head, “I'm fine. It was the other person. . .the girl. . .”   
Bill stiffened a little.   
“I didn't fuck her.” Tom said aloud, sounding a little bewildered.   
Bill frowned. He hesitated before asking the obvious question, “Why not?”   
“I. . .” Tom began, weakly, “I. . .lost interest.”   
Bill raised his eyebrows and then situated his head back under Tom's chin, “Oh well. I'm glad you came back.”   
“You are?”   
“Yeah. I miss you, Tomi.”   
Tom swallowed hard, suddenly feeling a wave of emotion clog his throat. Jesus, what was Bill doing to him? First, he thwarted Tom's date, then he came in here asking to get in bed, now he was turning Tom to a pathetic heap of emotions.   
Tom hugged Bill a little closer, unable to speak. Laying this close to Bill, he felt the need to let it grow more intimate. He wanted to take again, taste that forbidden fruit one more time. It was so delicious, so undeniably good, he almost couldn't resist.   
Tom dragged his fingers along Bill's spine, relishing the feel of velvety soft skin under his touch. A twinge of pleasure went through him when he felt Bill shudder softly. He did it again, this time applying more pressure and going lower, down to the waistband of Bill's shorts. Bill drew in a sharp breath, but didn't move.   
Tom quelled a groan as he let his hand come down to rest on the round shape of Bill's ass. The flesh was warm and supple, inviting Tom's fingers in deeper. He pulled Bill against him, fondling Bill's ass with quickly rising need.   
Bill moaned and lifted his head, looking up at Tom with dark, wanting eyes.   
Tom hesitated only a second before bending his head to deliver a hard, swift kiss to those pretty lips. Bill's sounds of pleasure got louder and he began to thrust against Tom, driving the hard length of his cock into Tom's thigh.   
Tom grabbed the waistband of his shorts and yanked, pulling them all the way down to Bill's knees. Bill gasped aloud as his cock came free, springing up hard and aching against his stomach. Throwing the sheets back, Tom pushed Bill's legs open and settled between them, opening his mouth to the hard flesh.   
Bill grabbed at Tom's dreads, his hips rising from the sheets when Tom's mouth surrounded him.   
“Tom. . .Tom, oh God!” He cried, raggedly.   
Tom grasped Bill's hip, pinning him to the bed while his mouth sucked down the hot column of flesh. Bill pulsed wildly in his mouth, almost completely hard. Tom dragged his other hand up Bill's inner thigh until he reached heavy, aching balls. Bill bucked against his hold, pulling hard at fistfuls of dreadlocks when Tom's began to gently squeeze the swollen orbs while continuing to suck on Bill's cock.   
“Jesus, Tom. . .Please. . .” Bill panted, his hips squirming, his pale thighs quivering.   
Tom sucked off the tip with a loud, wet noise and brought his hand up the shaft. He looked up at Bill with pleased eyes, “You want me?”   
Bill looked at him like a deer caught in the headlights, unable to decide which way to run. He blinked rapidly, his lips moving like a fish out of water.   
Tom felt hesitation creep into the back of his mind. He had expected Bill to cave without a fight, as he always did. Instead, Bill was taking his grand time deciding if he wanted Tom to fuck him or not.   
Tom grabbed Bill by the leg and gave him a shake, “I said, do you want me?”   
Bill swallowed hard and began to shake his head, reaching up to grasp his hair in confusion.   
Tom sat back, sighing loudly, “Fuck it, Bill. Don't crawl into bed with me half-naked and then cockblock me!”   
“I'm sorry. . .” Bill began, sitting up. His cock was already wilting in the face of Tom's anger and his own embarrassment.   
“Get out.” Tom ordered, angry all over again.   
“Tom, please. . .I just wanted to see you.” Bill cried, his eyes growing wide and wet, “I'm still your brother, aren't I?”   
Tom clenched his jaw and looked away. Bill had already cost him one hook-up tonight; he wasn't about to make it two and then attempt to stay in Tom's bed for the rest of the night.   
“I said I missed you, and I meant it.” Bill continued, speaking rapidly, “I miss Tomi, my twin. I don't know who you are anymore. You've become this person – this mean, cruel person and I don't like him!”   
Tom swung his gaze back to Bill, “I told you to get out. Now go!”   
Bill tugged his shorts back up and stumbled out of the bed. He looked ready to cry when he suddenly squared his shoulders and clenched his jaw. Turning to Tom with new determination, he declared, “I'm not going to be your backup guy anymore, Tom. I'm not going to be the one you come home and fuck when a girl can't do it for you.”   
Tom felt a muscle in his jaw twitch, the anger now surging past the bounds of unsatisfied desire. Bill was attacking his pride, his manhood, his abilities in bed.   
“I'm your brother, Tom.” Bill continued, his eyes pained but determined, “And I'm going to get my real twin back. On my terms, not yours. If you want to sleep with me, it's going to be because you love me and want to be with me, not because you can't find a girl's pussy to get into.”   
“Get out.” Tom growled, jumping off the bed and taking a threatening step toward Bill, “Get the fuck out of this room!”   
“It's me, or them.” Bill spat.   
He turned and marched out of the room, giving Tom no more chance to scream in his face. The door slammed shut behind him and Tom sat down hard on the edge of the mattress. He was breathing heavily, past the point of anger, past the point of caring about his failed hook-up. All he could focus on was Bill. He never wanted to lose his brother, especially not because of his own stupidity, pride, and desire. But he knew now that he was also past the point of a normal, platonic relationship with his twin. All hopes of going back to the way they had been before were crushed, ashes strewn across the water, forever gone. There was only this one reality, and here was the turning point. It was his women, or his brother. Tom had never felt so helpless. 

~

Bill tried to forget about the terrible argument and focus on his goal. He and Tom had fights all the time when they were kids, but they always forgave each other. Bill was sure that rule still applied, even if it was about something sexual. Bill wasn't going to let something like a fight keep him from his brother.   
Their next engagement was in Moscow, a city the band typically liked to party in. At the meet and greet after the show, Bill watched a girl slip her number to Tom. Tom watched her go, his expression interested but plainly conflicted. Bill tried to keep his anger in check and managed to get through the rest of the meet and greet without exploding into a jealous rage.   
They went back to the hotel to change for a night out on the town, but Bill put on his pajamas instead. Wandering into Tom's room, he leaned on the bed and watched Tom change. Tom barely acknowledged him as he fussed with setting his dreadlocks just so under his cap.   
Bill rolled his eyes. His brother always looked beautiful, no matter how his dreads were arranged or which way his hat was turned.   
“So, are you gonna call that girl?”   
Tom's shoulders stiffened when Bill finally voiced the question. His gaze met Bill's in the mirror, dark brown depths burning with frustration and desire. He slowly turned, setting those deep, consuming eyes on Bill, “So, you're gonna tell me how to live my life just because I fucked you a couple times?”   
Bill made a disgusted noise in his throat, “A couple?”   
Tom sighed, “Look, I know you're my brother, and that's how I want it. I want you as my twin.”   
Bill felt his heart plummet. He had counted on Tom not being able to resist sex, but now, Tom seemed to not give a damn about committing hot, fulfilling incest with him.   
Tom reached into his pocket and pulled out the sticky note the girl had scribbled her name and number on. Holding it up between his first two fingers he said, “I'm going out to tonight, and I suggest you do the same. You're going to have to find a girl someday.”   
Without thinking, Bill lunged forward and snatched the scrap of paper from Tom's loose grip. He angrily ripped it to shreds and threw the tiny pieces on the ground, his face and eyes burning with anger and humiliation.   
“How can you do this to me?” He cried, scattering the scraps of the girl's number on the front of Tom's hoodie, “I have given everything to you, and you have thrown it on the ground like garbage!”   
Tom took an unsteady step back, his solid facade cracking for the first time.   
“I gave myself to you completely.” Bill continued, his voice descending to a harsh, teary whisper, “Over and over again. . .I waited for you to grow up, to treat me right. I waited for you to love me like you always have! And now you're telling me to go find a girl to bang for one night? You are sickening, Tom Kaulitz. You are a disgusting bastard!”   
Silence enveloped the room. Bill stood with his hands curled at his sides, panting and red-faced. Tears streaked down his cheeks, uncontrolled while the rage simmered in his chest. Tom stared back, his expression torn. He looked ready to bolt, or blow up in anger, or cry all at once.   
At last, he swallowed hard and stared at the ground, “I'm sorry.”   
“You're sorry.” Bill echoed, dissatisfied with the answer, “That's all you have to say?”   
Tom licked his lips nervously, his eyes flicking back and forth between the floor and Bill's withering gaze, “Yes. . .” He murmured, “I'm very sorry.”   
Without another word, he turned and left the room, his head down. Bill watched him go, disbelief and rage churning through him. He ran at the door Tom had just walked through, throwing his whole weight against it and uttering a sharp scream. Fresh tears glazed his cheeks, accompanied by deep, sorrowful moans that wrenched themselves from the depths of his soul. He struck wildly at the door, his knuckles bouncing painfully against the smooth wood.   
But Tom was gone, and he was railing against thin air, an idea, a heart that had already left him. Releasing a low moan, he sank to the ground on his knees and leaned his forehead against the battered door. Sobbing quietly, he ground out, “Go to your party, you fucking bastard! Go fuck yourself. . .”   
This was the beginning of the end, he thought. Tom was never coming back to him.


	3. The Choice

Tom was only slightly drunk. He hadn't gotten into his cups enough to really enjoy himself, or forget how much the argument with Bill had stung. He was trying to do the best thing for both of them by ending the relationship right now. He knew he couldn't go on with Bill sexually without hurting him, so he decided he couldn't have his brother at all. He would rather Bill hate him from a distance, than with Tom's dick up his ass.  
Tom gave a valiant try at having a good time, but the burn of alcohol in his throat didn't make the pain disappear. Even the sea of girls to choose from didn't appeal to him. All he could think of was Bill's torn expression and the pain written so clearly in his eyes when he whispered those fatal words, “I gave everything to you. . .”  
Tom hadn't realized the raw truth of that statement until Bill had looked him in the eyes and said it. He had taken Bill's purity, his naivety and stomped it into the ground with their very first encounter. He hadn't been kind or loving, just harsh, needy, demanding. Bill should've been given all the gentle, tender loving care he required upon embarking into the vast, uncharted waters of sexuality. Instead, he had been given a hard, unforgiving fuck without even being told what was happening. It hadn't seemed so mean or uncaring to Tom, because it was how he jumped into nearly every other sexual encounter. He was experienced, knew exactly what was happening, what should happen. . .But not Bill.  
Tom walked back to the hotel room with a heaviness in his heart. He swiped his card and stepped inside, welcoming the warmth and quiet of the hotel room. The lights were dimmed, though he hadn't recalled leaving them that way.  
Tom looked up with a frown when he detected the subtle, yet distinct smell of Bill. It was a mixture of shampoo, hairspray, and cologne, a scent that Tom knew even better than his own. A jolt raced through him when he caught sight of Bill seated in the computer chair that could swivel to face the desk and Tom's laptop. Bill's hair was down, no longer in the lion mane. The long, dark strands rested in soft layers around his round face and past his shoulders. . .slim shoulders, draped in one of Tom's giant hoodies. The hoodie rested like a sack on Bill's slender figure, enveloping his arms and midsection and falling down to his thighs. The very bottom was zippered over Bill's crotch, but the top slid open to reveal bare flesh. Long legs stretched out in front of the chair, encased up to the knee in tall, maroon red socks, the only other apparel on Bill's body besides the stolen hoodie.  
Bill brought his hands up to steeple his fingers, “Tom. . .I'm glad you're finally back.”  
Tom's lips moved soundlessly for a few moments before he managed, “Bill. . .What are you doing?”  
Bill stood up from the chair, causing the hoodie to shift precariously over his barely contained crotch. The hoodie slipped a little on his shoulder, revealing smooth, rounded skin. Tom's eyes followed each movement, trained to consume any revealed bit of Bill's flesh while he still could.  
“What I should've done a long time ago.” Bill replied, crossing the room in slow, sensual steps.  
Tom shuddered when Bill stood directly in front of him and nailed him with a dark, hungry gaze. One long fingernail slid under Tom's chin and tilted his head up. Bill eyed him like a piece of meat, his hard gaze so unlike the broken, crying boy Tom had left in this hotel room only hours before.  
“Bill. . .” He began, trying to keep his eyes on Bill's face.  
“Shush.” Bill placed a finger over Tom's protesting lips, “Less talking, more undressing, please.”  
Tom swallowed hard, finding his throat dry. Of all the possibilities, he had never guessed this one.  
“Tom.” Bill arched an eyebrow.  
“Bill, what. . .”  
“What am I doing?” Bill finished for him, “I'm doing what you said. I'm going out and getting the person I want to be with. And that's you. I've made my choice.”  
“Bill, please. This can't-”  
“It will work if I want it to.” Bill cut him off, appearing flustered, “Now, please, start stripping before I do it for you.”  
Tom held up a hand, “Okay.”  
Bill crossed his arms, watching with a sharp gaze as Tom slowly began to remove his headgear first. When his dreads were finally loose, he moved onto his shirt, pulling it off over his head at the pace of a striptease. He fumbled with the button and zipper of his jeans, and stumbled on his way out of his boxers. Bill watched him closely the entire time, the bulge in the front of the hoodie growing until Tom could see the head of his cock peeking out.  
“Jesus, Bill, don't cum in my hoodie.” Tom rasped, almost too surprised and turned on to joke.  
Bill smiled, “Get on the bed.”  
“Look, can we just talk about this for a moment?” Tom tried to reason.  
He was quite certain that if Bill were ordering him onto the bed, Bill wasn't going to be laying out for another hard fuck. He was going to be giving back what he had been getting for months. . .a complete position switch. The very idea of lying on his stomach underneath Bill – under Bill's cock – made Tom's stomach twist with a strange, erotic mixture of dread and desire.  
“We already talked.” Bill stalked closer to him, backing Tom into the bed, “I heard what you had to say. Now you're going to hear my response.”  
“Bill, I'm sorry for being unfeeling or cruel. . .I just. . I don't want to hurt you anymore and I thought it was best if we just cut it off.”  
“Cutting off you?” Bill chuckled a little, then let his mouth fall to a sober line, “At this point, that would be like cutting off my own arm.”  
“I don't understand.” Tom whispered, his voice hoarse with apprehension and need, “I . . .I thought you would be mad.”  
“I was. . .” Bill murmured, then a frowned a little, “Still am.”  
“Then why-”  
“Just get on the bed.” Bill's veneer of calm and control snapped back into place.  
He grabbed Tom by the neck and gave him a push back onto the bed. Tom hit the mattress with a sound of surprise and immediately attempted to get back up. Bill crawled onto the bed between Tom's legs and pressed his fingertips into his brother's strong chest, pounding with a wild heartbeat.  
Flipping his hair over one shoulder, Bill leaned in to place a soft, sensual kiss on Tom's protesting lips. Tom struggled to fight his way through a haze of longing as Bill's mouth easily caressed him to compliance. His legs fell open on either side of Bill, leaving his rising cock vulnerable to Bill's seductive touch. He felt long fingernails tracing along his inner thigh, tickling and teasing him, building shivers deep inside him. A moan passed from his lips to Bill's when Bill's soft palm found his nearly erect cock.  
“There now.” Bill murmured, his lips sliding wetly from Tom's eager embrace. His fingers stroked gently, accompanying the next, sultry words, “You like it, don't you?”  
“Mmm. . .uhnn. . .” Tom managed to groan softly, but couldn't articulate the pleasure now coursing through his veins.  
Bill's fingers tightened around his cock, drawing pearly drop of arousal from the tip. Tom squeaked out a sound of pleasure and squirmed, trying to breath around the intense sensations bombarding him.  
“Mmm, poor Tomi.” Bill pouted and moaned, sliding down and leaving the tickle of his breath across Tom's stomach, “Are you so hard you wanna cum?”  
“Ohhh. . .” Tom grasped at the sheets when Bill's lips dragged across the swollen head of his cock.  
Bill flicked out his tongue, snaking it across the dewy tip of Tom's hard dick. The bead of his tongue stud thrilled the flesh into an even harder, pounding throb that reverberated through Tom's whole body. His hips arched from the bed, and a low moan wrung from his throat. Bill's lips closed around the head, sucking ever so softly before clamping down tight and pulling back with a loud, wet pop. Tom tore at the sheets, moaning in ecstasy. In his mind, he was pleading and begging already, but he couldn't even speak to voice his desires. His throat was paralyzed by the pleasure Bill had so easily wrought upon his unprepared body.  
“Oh, yeah. ..” Bill murmured, a deviant smile forming on his full lips, “You want it.”  
Tom began to nod, gazing up at his brother with wide, pleading eyes.  
“Hmf.” Bill arched and eyebrow, “Turn over.”  
Tom swallowed hard, the blood throbbing through his aching dick slowing a bit. Turn over? Turning over meant giving Bill something he never had before. . .something he had never given to anyone. It was a no-touch zone for girls, but for Bill. . .  
“Tom, turn over.” Bill repeated, louder this time.  
Tom hesitated only a second longer before rolling onto his stomach. His insides were starting to perform strange, liquid flip-flops that caused him to feel both sick and aroused at the same time. His head was spinning with the turn of events, but his cock was hard, so fucking hard.  
Tom anxiously looked over his shoulder as Bill moved back between his legs. Long fingers curled around Tom's thighs, pushing his legs wide apart. The motion made Tom want to protest, get up and tell Bill to stop this madness. His inner control freak was screaming at him to do something, anything! But he couldn't – his body was frozen by shock and desire. . .a desire he had never seen coming.  
Bill's fingers suddenly clasped Tom's ass, squeezing and spreading the cheeks apart with his thumbs. Tom released a muffled moan, hiding his face in the sheets to mask his humiliation and desire. A gasp tore from his lips, his eyes springing wide open when he felt a wash of warm breath, and then the unmistakable touch of the wet, velvety surface of Bill's tongue.  
“Shit!” He cried out, his body arching wildly.  
Bill grappled with Tom's bucking hips, pulling him back down to the mattress. Pain stung across Tom's butt as Bill's flat palm connected his skin. The spanking rendered Tom's body immobile, stiff and trembling with surprise and need.  
“Lie still.” Bill ordered, his hands gathering Tom's butt cheeks once more.  
Tom bit down hard on his lip, trying to control his breathing. Bill's tongue was up against his hole again, going in a slow, tight circle against the puckered flesh. The sensitive entrance clamped down tighter with the intrusion, but Bill pushed his way past the resistance. His tongue went inside, flicking around and curling in the most arousing way. Tom's hips slowly rose from the mattress, reaching, aching for more. The penetration was soft, wet, heated. It was delicate and erotic, but Tom's untried body went impossibly tight, rejecting even the softest touch.  
“Jesus, Bill. . .” Tom began to pant uncontrollably, his body twitching with the overload of pleasure.  
Bill didn't respond, except to hum quietly in pleasure. His tongue slid up and down the cleft, leaving it wet with saliva. Tom drew a fist to his mouth and bit down on one knuckle, swallowing back screams of pleasure. Just as Bill's tongue reached his tailbone, Tom felt the brush of fingertips.  
“No-” He began to cry out.  
But Bill's fingers were already pushing inside. With one slow thrust, his first finger penetrated Tom's ass, driving a loud cry from his writhing twin.  
“Oh God. . .oh God. . .” Tom swore breathlessly, his body undulating and quivering of its own accord, “Jesus. . .fuck. . .please. . .”  
Bill's finger pressed in deep, repeating the pace and depth of the first penetration over and over again. He added a second finger, driving both in to the knuckle and curling up to find Tom's aching prostate. The tickle of Bill's fingers raked across his nerve-endings, sending him into a writhing, moaning frenzy.  
Bill grabbed a handful of Tom's dreads and lifted his flushed face from the sheets. He licked the corner of Tom's mouth and whispered, “You're gonna be wide open for me Tom. Wide open.”  
“Bill. . .please. . .” Tom whispered, grasping weakly at the sheets, “I'm. . .You can't. . .”  
“I can.” Bill whispered, drawing back to nibble at Tom's ear, “And I will.”  
“I'm not. . .” Tom began to shake his head, twitching as Bill's fingers hit deep, “It won't fit. . .”  
“Oh, Tom. . .” Bill chuckled softly, as if condescending to a child, “Don't you think I haven't thought about this? I will finger you for an hour if I have to.”  
Bill sat back, smoothing Tom's mass of dreadlocks away from his back and tracing the curve of his spine with one long nail. His fingers continued at the deep, but slow pace, chipping away at Tom's resistance with each thrust.  
“Bill. . .” Tom moaned, lifting his hips almost too eagerly for his own comfort.  
“Oh, yeah. . .” Bill urged, thrusting his fingers a little harder, “That's a good boy.”  
Tom groaned louder, pressing his forehead into the mattress. He'd said those words to Bill before, but they hadn't sounded so demeaning when he was delivering them.  
He arched sharply when he felt Bill's third finger pressing at his already strained entrance. He wanted to beg for more time to adjust, but Bill's finger shoved it's way inside, joining the other two in thrusting deep. A howl of pain and pleasure escaped his lips and his hips worked upward, then down again, humping at the bed and Bill's fingers with blind need.  
“That's good. . .” Bill crooned, his lips branding Tom's shoulder blade with half a dozen, hot, wet kisses, “Open up for me.”  
“I. . .am. . .” Tom croaked.  
“Wider.” Bill urged, his fingers thrusting deeper, harder.  
“Trying. . .” Tom groaned, trying not to remember all the times he had done all of about two seconds of prep on Bill before going in.  
“Good.” Bill's lips pressed warmly against Tom's ear, “You're doing so good.”  
Here, Tom felt his muscles let go, spreading out beneath Bill's touch. He had been expecting anger, punishment, a brutal touch. . .Instead, Bill was kindly making sure he was ready. . .over-prepping almost. It was wrong how loyal he could be after being kicked to the curb so many times.  
“I'm. . .I'm ready. . .” Tom whispered, hardly trusting the truth of that statement. He was falling his instincts, his need, the hum of desire flashing through his body.  
Bill's fingers pressed in several more times before pulling back. He produced the lube out of the hoodie's pocket and slowly shed the garment. Tom's eyes were over his shoulder again, ravishing Bill's naked body with one, hot gaze. Tom had always found the long, firm length of Bill's body attractive, his pale flesh so flawless, but from this angle, his divine beauty was a kind of magic. And his eyes. . . the way he looked at Tom sucked him in, communicating between them emotions that couldn't be put into words. That was when Tom knew he wanted this. . .He wanted Bill to take him, seal their bond in a way that no woman ever could. This intimacy was something special that the rest of the world could only dream of experiencing.  
Bill lubed himself with a quick, efficient pumps of his hand before adding more lube to Tom's hole. He lowered him over Tom's body, pressing the tip of his cock to the quivering entrance. Tom let out a slow breath, forcing himself to relax. He closed his eyes and took it in – the moment when Bill pushed forward, connecting their bodies in this manner for the first time.  
It hurt – God, it really fucking hurt, but only pleasure concluded the end of each thrust. Tom arched and writhed, his ass meeting Bill's hips when Bill's cock pushed into the tight channel. Tom could hardly breathe, he was so overwhelmed by the sensations filling his body and mind. He grasped at the sheets, a low whine exiting his throat with every connection of their bodies.  
Bill's fingers clasped Tom's one hip while the other propped him above Tom's prone body. His fingers gently worked Tom's hips back, while his own performed slow, deep thrusts that dragged his cock in out perfectly. Tom could feel each touch of Bill's cock along his prostate, pleasuring the tender spot in a way that Tom had never felt.  
“Ooohh. . .” Bill moaned, at last, dropping his forehead against Tom's shoulder, “You're so. . .so tight. . .”  
Tom moaned in response, unable to demonstrate his need any other way.  
Bill's hips rolled tightly against Tom's ass, pushing his hard dick into the tight space, “Oohh!” He groaned a little louder, his breath blasting across Tom's back, “So hot and tight. . .”  
“Ahhh!” Tom cried, his body seizing when Bill's drove harder at his prostate.  
“There, baby?” Bill murmured in delight, undulating his hips in the same motion.  
“Ahh.. .oh, yes. . .” Tom moaned, dragging heavy, struggling breaths into his lungs.  
Bill's fingers drifted from Tom's hips to his ass cheek, squeezing and spreading it to watch his dick thrust in and out.  
“God. . .” He groaned, rolling his hips in a little faster, “Wanna fuck you so hard. . .”  
Tom arched his ass up against Bill, moaning a weak response. He was already so overloaded with pleasure, he didn't know if he could handle Bill coming at him any harder. He felt so worked over, and he hadn't even cum yet.  
“Jesus. . .” Tom managed to choke out.  
Bill's hips had shifted into a faster pace, pumping his cock in and out of Tom's tightening ass. Bill seemed to know just how to enter to stimulate Tom's prostate. His insides were getting tight and hot, the pleasure sizzling at the fringes of his mind, just waiting to attack him. He was so hard, wanted to cum so bad, and Bill was taking him there.  
“Are you gonna cum for me?” Bill whispered, sinking his fingers into the heap of dreadlocks and turning Tom's face to nip at his mouth.  
Tom nodded, weakly, his lips moving to catch Bill's, but going too slow to accomplish anything close to a kiss.  
“Make it wet, baby. . .” Bill moaned into his ear.  
Tom's insides quivered listening to Bill talk like that. His muscles clamped down harder, racing toward climax at an alarming rate. He undulated his hips faster, rubbing his cock along the smooth, soft sheets. Bill's hips matched his speed, pressing into him with needy thrusts and finding his prostate like radar.  
“Oohh. . .gonna cum. . .” Bill panted, his fingers digging into Tom's skin.  
Tom squeezed his eyes shut and concentrate hard on the pleasure bearing down on him. It was simmering low in his stomach, getting ready to boil over into an intense orgasm. He could feel it coming, building in his cock.  
“Touch me!” He burst out, voice raspy from pleasure, “Bill, please. ..”  
Bill grabbed at his hips, pulling them onto the their sides so that he could palm Tom's aching cock. Spooning Tom, Bill continued his deep, driving thrusts while his hand pumped quickly over Tom's swollen dick.  
Tom panted hard, his whole body going frantic as the pleasure expanded inside him. It came suddenly, hitting him with the force of a train and knocking the breath out of his lungs. He clamped down on Bill's cock, his body arching and jerking wildly. Bill's hand stroked him faster as he climaxed, stripping him of any sense of control or reality. The orgasm exploded inside his body, doubling, tripling the pleasure in a matter of moments until he was moaning aloud, nearly sobbing in pleasure.  
Behind him, Bill pumped out a few last hard thrusts before losing himself to his own climax. Hot liquid filled Tom's ass, leaving him gasping and squeezing Bill's cock hard. Bill moaned beautifully in his ear, his slim, soft body twitching and quivering in spastic bursts of pleasure. His fingers tightened on Tom's hip through the duration of the orgasm and went weak as it ended.  
“Oh God. . .” Bill moaned softly.  
“Bill. . .” Tom reached down to grab Bill's hand.  
Bill gently pulled out, leaving Tom's body aching and empty, dripping hot cum. He rolled Tom onto his back and drew Tom's weak body into his arms. Tom latched on, breathing hard in disbelief and the aftershocks of pleasure.  
“I love you. . .” Bill murmured.  
“I love you, too.” Tom choked emotionally on the words.  
Bill smiled softly, “You don't have to cry.”  
Tom shook his head, “I have been a complete ass to you. . .I feel terrible.”  
Bill toyed with a stray dreadlock, twisting the strand around his finger, “I see. It takes a good screw up the ass to get your attention.”  
“No, I. . .I've been thinking about it a lot actually.” Tom replied, “And it's hard for me to admit I'm wrong, but I can't deny it on this one.”  
Bill sobered, giving a brief nod, “You almost succeeded in getting rid of me, Tomi. Then I realized what you were trying to do. You were pushing me away so you wouldn't hurt me again. I know you always love me, and I always love you, so. . .” He shrugged, “I had to make a move.”  
“But you're right. I don't want to hurt you.” Tom insisted, disentangling himself from Bill's long arms and legs, “And this. . .this arrangement can't work.”  
“Who says it can't?”  
“We're world famous rockstars, Bill. How can we keep something like this a secret?”  
“We have so far.”  
“But this would mean. . .this would mean me giving up girls.”  
“Yes it would.” Bill said, softly, reaching out to touch Tom's shoulder, “It's not something I'm going to do halfway anymore, Tom. I won't sleep with you if you're going to have sex with some fangirl for one night.”  
“I understand that.”  
“Good. I don't want to be used, or abused anymore. I want my brother; I want him completely.” Bill wrapped his arms around Tom's chest, pulling him back into a hug, “I want you to be mine.”  
Tom closed his eyes, relishing the connection, the smell of Bill, the harmony of their love. This was not something he could trade for one night with a girl he didn't even know. This was his little brother, his Bibi, his soulmate, his only true love. Something his heart had been trying to tell him for years, but only his body had been partly picking up on. Jesus, how could he have been so stupid and cruel?  
Squeezing Bill's hand, he murmured, “I am yours.”  
Bill stiffened a bit, “You mean it?”  
Tom nodded, “I mean it. No more lying, no more using or abusing. I'll admit it, Bill. I love you – in every way I can, in every impossible way. . .I couldn't trade you for the world.”  
“You'll give up girls?” Bill's wide, dark eyes blinked at Tom in shock.  
Tom nodded, “They're totally not worth it. . .Not if it means losing you for good.”  
Bill smiled, his eyes shining with tears – happy tears this time. He grabbed Tom's hand and pulled him back onto the bed, “Come lie with me.”  
They settled under the sheets, wrapped in each other's embrace. Silence descended, but they communicated wordlessly, through each quiet breath, each stroke of the fingertips, the gentle meeting of their eyes. It was as beautiful and harmonic as a song, and Tom wondered how he could've tried so hard to destroy it. He wanted to cry because he had been so blind, but Bill eyes were soft on his.  
 _Don't cry. We have each other now. I love you, Tomi. Forever._  
 _And I love you. Don't leave me. . .Not tonight, not any night after this. I can't live without you._  
 _You'll never have to. I'm yours forever. . ._  
The words were related silently until with a quiet kiss, they drifted into sleep. Tom was sure that their dreams met, twining like the branches of a river that merged into the ocean, for in his sleep, he saw Bill, as they should've been, as they were now. He was pure again, and this time, Tom took his virginity gently, softly, lovingly. The lovemaking and passion seemed to go on forever until Tom awoke, needing Bill in a more tangible, physical way. They took each other in every way possible until a sweet ache overtook them, sending them to bed once more, their bodies and hearts entangled in an endless weave of love.  
For the first time in weeks, Tom's mind and heart was at rest. He had his brother back, and that was all that mattered. The hate, anger, and pain was gone, replaced by a love that overstepped all the bounds. It wasn't just physical anymore; it was deep in their hearts, a connection that would last a lifetime, a thing that Tom had once understood, but forgotten somewhere a long the way. This time, he wouldn't be letting go. It would be hard, covering what they were doing, keeping it from the rest of the world, from their friends, family, and crew, but Tom didn't care. He had Bill, and for now, that was enough.

 

~the end~


End file.
